Yeah, a Blog Award

Lindsay of Autist’s corner passed on a blog award already a few weeks ago. Like most other blog awards, this one comes with a meme. You’re supposed to share seven things about yourself and then pass the award on to seven bloggers.

Seven Facts about Me

• I spoke in sentences before I walked.
• My coordination is so bad that I almost fall everytime I try to get off a bus.
• I love red peppers and green apples.
• I used to be scared of venomous animals. Now they fascinate me. My favorite is the Brazilian wandering spider.
• I am terrified of most dogs.
• I am a cis female, but my brain works mostly masculinely according to pop psychology tests.
• For another autism stereotype I don’t violate: I don’t particularly like fiction. Then again, I hate sci-fi even more.

Seven Bloggers Who Deserve the Versatile Blogger Award

• Cellar Door
• Crazy Mermaid
• Dorianisms
• FaithAllen
• Helen G
• Pandora
• StaticNonsense

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A Blogging Meme

Stolen from Ballastexistenz.

1. Is there a regular time of day when you compose your posts? Not that I’m aware of, though I think I blog mostly in the evenings.
2. Do you prefer to write a certain number of posts per week (or per month)? Not really, but I do feel weird when I’ve not blogged in a long while.
3. Are you more likely to write a post when you’re happy about the topic, or do you mainly blog when you feel like ranting? I think I’m more of the ranty type.
4. Do you write from notes or an outline, or are your posts mostly spontaneous? I write spontaneously, and everytime I’ve tried to write from notes or an outline, or even consciously picked a subject, it’s failed.
5. Do you try to maintain a central theme for your blog and avoid random topics that don’t fit the theme? Not really, though there are a number of recurring themes in my writing.
6. Are there any interesting rituals associated with your blogging? Not that I know of.

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Pet Quizzes

Was just wanting to do some memes. These ones are about pets, since I’m wishing I had a pet here, and I spent a while this evening cuddling with another girl’s guinea pig. But guinea pigs ar enot for me…

You Would Be a Pet Cat

Independent and aloof, you don’t like to be dependent on anyone. And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don’t care. You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands. Why you would make a great pet: You’re not needy or greedy… unlike other four legged friends. Why you would make a bad pet: You’re not exactly running down to greet people at the door What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You’re both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What’s Your Ideal Pet?

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Eight Random Facts

I’ve seen the “eight random facts” meme float around autism and other blogs I read, and today Seahorse tagged me. The rules are as follows:

1. Let others know who tagged you
2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves
3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts
4. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.

Eight random facts about me

1. My first word, according to my father, was “aircraft industry” when I was ten months old.
2. I used to be very picky about clothes when I was young, hating jeans and most types of socks. This has gotten much better over time.
3. I have always lived near the highway and will live near a highway once again in Nijmegen.
4. I used to be light blonde when I was a toddler, but now have almost black hair.
5. I cannot tie shoelaces and don’t plan on ever learning to anymore, so I just buy shoes without laces.
6. From age eleven on, I tried to craft my own treatment and support plans for then undiagnosed difficulties. They were not perfect, but with some the main prolem was indeed that no-one would help me carry them out. Unfortunately, clients aren’t supposed to craft their own intervention strategies.
7. When I was twelve, I wanted to be a mathematician.
8. I didn’t get an Internet connection till I was nearly sixteen in 2002, and immediately the phone bill increased by 300%.

Well, I’m too lazy to search for eight bloggers I know who haven’t been tagged yet, so the first eight people who read this and haven’t yet done this meme, should consider themselves tagged.

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So Okay, I’m Supposed to Be a Thinking Blogger

Well, I guess I should be proud, because Seahorse of The Beauty Offensive nominated me for the “Thinking Bloggers Award”. OMG! I didn’t become sort of active in the blogosphere till moving from DiaryLand to WordPress last February, and I’m still trying to recover from the “compulsive writing” image I apparently left, so I’m kind of uncertain as to whether I’m doing this “right”. In any case, the idea behind this thing seems to be that, if you get tagged, you write an entry tagging five other bloggers who you think write thoughtfully. Okay. A few months ago, someone, probably Autism Diva, wrote that she had difficulty thinking of just five blogges to tag, because there are so many thoughtful blogs around. I could think of far more than five thoughtful bloggers myself, too. In fact, I was thinking about making this a honor list for all the autism bloggers I read but don’t link to because otherwise my blogroll would be too crowded up with autism bloggers and it would send the message that I’m obsessed – which I guess I am anyway. But… they have already been tagged. Well, there are many other thinking bloggers out there anyway.

These are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn’t fit your blog).

Anyway, here go my five bloggers:

1. NTs Are Weird: Surprisingly, Joel at least doesn’t have a post up at his blog saying he was tagged. I’m pretty sure he was, or he should be at least. Really thoughtful and well-researched commentary on autism issues.
2. Whose Planet Is It Anyway?: First came across this blog when browsing BADD entries. Very thoughtful posts.
3. ABA4Autism: I strongly disagree with Dr. Brown on many autism issues, but I can understand that, being an ABA clinician, he would pretty much need to hold this view. Good thing is he’s one of few in the autism community who actually allows criticism, even though he doesn’t respond. I still hope he’ll eventually be even more open to alternative views of autism.
4. E. is for Epilepsy: I have no experience with epilepsy, but this blog sheds an interesting light on it.
5. 6YearMed: You know you’re in med school when… Very insightful and sometimes humorous posts.

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If I Were a Medical Specialist…

Wanted to do some meme, but couldn’t find any interesting Wednesday memes. So I decided for this one. Whaha! It’s cool, and of course, it’s true, huh?

The medical specialty for you is…. Psychiatry

Psychiatry is the best of all specialties. As a psychiatrist, people
may claim that you went into the field because you yourself are crazy. But only you know the truth, which is that you are crazy. Enjoy the ride. What Medical Specialty Is For You?

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Political Quizzes and Comments

 

You Are 40% Politically Radical

You’ve got a few unusual political ideas, but overall you’re a pretty mainstream person. Chances are that you’re turned off by both the radical right and looney left.

Are You a Political Radical?

The Socialist Party is considered radical left in the Netherlands – at least, now that it has 25 seats (probably lost one to Labour due to Dutch citizens abroad voting) in the Dutch lower house. There was a programme on TV this evening in which voters for the SP as well as Wilders (radical right) were interviewed cause it’s believed that the increase in votes for the SP (from nine to 25 seats) and the fact that Wilders got nine seats as they first participated in elections, signify unsatisfaction with established parties like the 26 seats for the List Pim Fortuyn (which has meanwhile lost all of its seats due to fighting amongst the members) did in 2002.

People complain about the election outcome and the difficulty in forming a government now. Maybe, for them (but not for me!), the U.S. system is better. Figure how I should vote.

 

You Are 4% Republican

If you have anything in common with the Republican party, it’s by sheer chance. You’re a staunch liberal, and nothing is going to change that!

How Republican Are You?

Hmmm, I’m a socialist, but after the recent elections I feel more ashamed of admitting this than I did before, cause it’s becone synonymous with “Fortuyn” for the reasons I mentioned above. GroenLinks has a far better image, in this sense.

 

You Are 76% Democrat

You have a good deal of donkey running through your blood, and you’re proud to be liberal. You don’t fit every Democrat stereotype, but you definitely belong in the Democrat party.

How Democrat Are You?

Well, I’m a little more conservative than the Democrats. I’ve alwasy hated the idea that “liberal” is left and “conservative” is right-wing, cause it just doesn’t work that way in the Netherlands: the SP is more conservative than GroenLinks, but it’s also more socialist, ie. “left”.

 

You Should Have Voted for Ralph Nader.

Sorry – Shirts and Shoes are Required in the Voting Booth.

Who Should You Have Voted For in 2004?

One word: duh! Even so, in the U.S., where “strategic voting” (eg. voting Labour cause you hate Balkenende for prime minister) is the norm, I would most likely just vote Democrat except if I lived in some state where an independent candidate runs a good chance of winning anyway.

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How Do You Live Your Life? (Quiz)

Scarily accurate. Except the thing about a best friend – I have no friends, but quizzes never ever get it that there *are* people out there who really are too unsociable for that, so I always pretend I have friends when it’s needed to fill out questionnaires.

 

How You Live Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You’re laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren’t attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

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Life Resume (Journaling Exercise)

Stolen from this page.

Name: Astrid

Age: 20

Date of Birth: June 27, 1986

Eye Colour: Blue/green/grey

Hair Colour: dark brown but my father still calls it dark blonde.

Hair Style: Usually long and staight but since I just cut some of my hair and will have to go to the hairdresser, it’ll become half-long and somewhat curly then, cause my hair curls when it’s shorter.

Weight: 58 kg (128 lbs if I’m correct)

Body Type: Short, not skinny or fat

Physical Condition: Average

Race: White

Ethnicity: Dutch I guess

Religion: None, but I take an active interest in most religions.

Distinguishing Features (scars, tattoos, piercing, etc):

1. Big scar on belly from shunt surgery
2. Right now, ugly hair
3. Lots of small scars from past self-injurious behaviour that I didn’t know people would notice till someone confronted me about them.

Physical Features – Favorites:

1. Long hair when it’s long
2. My face (not sure why)
3. Don’t know what else

Physical Features – Wish to change:

1. Height, wish to be taller
2. …
3. …

Interaction Characteristics (voice tone, gestures, quirks)

1. Soft voice except when I’m angry
2. Fewer facial expressions than most (at least, that’s what my classmates say)
3. Don’t tend to make eye contact cause I can’t see the other person

Ancestral Lineage, Family Background: My father’s family are mostly educated, intellectual, politically-engaged people – would’ve been in the upper middle class if I liked classifying people that way – originating from everywhere around the country. My father was born in Hilversum, North Holland, a town between Amsterdam and Utrecht if I’m correct. My paternal grandfather did some radio work but I never found out what and my paternal grandmother was a social worker in a psychiatric hospital. My father went to university but didn’t graduate and now works as a system manager – not at all his field of study, cause he used to study physics. My mother’s family would be “working class” I guess, but I don’t know too much about them. They originate from the city of The Hague and surrounding cities. My maternal grandfather was a painter and I have no idea what my grandmother did, so I guess she was a housewife. My mother’s education is something similar to a GED, but she worked herself up in her career and is now something called a project administrator.

Allergies: Not sure anymore

Educational Level: High school, currently a college freshman

Areas of Study: Currently applied psychology

Degrees: High school diploma

Average Grades: Bs and Cs

Occupational Training: Got none

Career desired: Not sure. The one big thing I’m pretty sure about is that I want to work in the non-profit field and that I hate to be a manager.

Occupation: Being useless I guess

Income: Disability, currently about 560 euros a month

Past Occupations: N/A

Areas of Expertise: Uhm, don’t know

Miscellaneous skills, abilities, and awards:

1. Debating contest participant in 2003 and 2005
2. Good Internet-using and fairly good web development skills
3. Good writing skills (if I’m inspired)

Military Experience: Uhm, no, what would a blind girl do in the military? Besides, I’m a pacifist if that’s an English word not referring to the ocean (don’t got a dictionary so can’t look it up).

Goals, Short term:

1. Pass communication skills and psychology tests and job field orientation presentation
2. Improve picture of my situation
3. Not insult staff

Goals, Long term:

1. Live on my own
2. Go to college
3. Get a job

Desires, Short term:

1. Comfort, sort of
2. A regular sleep/wake cycle
3. Right now, coffee (what did I say about sleep cycles?)

Desires, Long term:

1. Not to feel this lonely anymore (man, I feel weak for admitting this)
2. More confidence
3. More clarity about what I desire/want/whatever, I guess, cause I can’t think of anything else.

Needs, Short term:

1. Sleep
2. A haircut
3. Time and energy to study for exams and practise presentation

Needs, Long term:

1. To lessen my confusion
2. To get out of here and live on my own
3. To go to college I guess

Every been arrested: No, but have been involved with the police more than once.

If yes, for what: Always cause I was wandering around and policemen think that’s illegal or something.

How long in prison: N/A

My Personality: I am open-minded, intelligent and creative and like to think I’m a good listener. On the other hand, I’m pretty socially awkward and kind of shy when it comes to acquainting people – I don’t mind talkign with strangers, but they can’t come too close. I also tend to be kind of pessimistic.

Self-Esteem: Pretty poor I guess, but that is kind of a tricky issue as I don’t like to admit to having poor self-esteem cause it in itself means weakness – hence, a pretty self-fulfilling prophecy. Actually, my self-esteem is, like most things, quite black-and-white: I have certain standards that I think I have to meet up to, and if I meet them, I’m quite hapy – at least, when, by then, I still find them important. When I don’t – and I usually don’t -, I think pretty badly of myself.

Introvert/Extrovert: In some ways, an introvert – mostly in the social contact I desire -, but I may come across like an extravert in my behaviour, cause I quite easily approach strangers but don’t tend to let them come too close.

Intuitive/Planning: Intuitive in my planning?

Judge/Accepting: Judge for myself and, when I’m angry, for others; otherwise, I’m pretty accepting to others.

Thinker/Follow Emotions: Both, yet at the wrong moment.

Temperament: Uhm, I’m a person of extremes – or I think I am.

How handle anger: Quite poorly. There are moments when I try not to behave badly, and mostly those involve stuffing anger, and yet when I do get angry, I tend to insult others and/or break objects.

How handle compliments: Don’t usually believe them.

How express love: Try to express empathy with other’s feelings.

Quirks:

1. May talk at length about one topic
2. Hair twirling when I’m nervous
3. My speech tends to vary greatly with my mood (ie. I can’t find words when I’m distressed)

Positive Traits:

1. Intelligence (though I’m not sure I consider that a positive trait)
2. Creativity
3. Open-mindedness

Negative Traits:

1. Poor frustration tolerance
2. Really bad decision-making skills
3. Quite pessimistic attitude

Good Habits:

1. Making cofee/tea for others
2. Caring for appearance / personal hygiene (tat least, I hope so)
3. Good studying habits, mostly

Bad Habits:

1. Nail biting
2. Hair twirling
3. Never put things in the same place

Sense of Humor: Not sure. People say I got it but I don’t know.

Fears:

1. Not fulfilling my parents’ dreams for me
2. Not being productive
3. Abandonment

Comment: Hmmm, I guess these are all three fears of mine cause I see them in a cause-effect relationship.

Phobias:

1. Poison. That’s about my only fear that might creatively be called a phobia, though it doesn’t meet DSM-IV criteria.
2. Used to have a phobia for dogs.
3. Also used to have a phobia for weird, tropical diseases.

Prejudices:

1. Every person graduating from my type of high school, goes to university.
2. Every person whose only disability is blindness, lives on their own and is competitively employed.
3. Every intelligent person has a university degree.

Comment: I fulfill none of these three prejudices and know at least one other person not fulfilling each of them, but I still can’t get myself to stop thinking this way.

Opinion on Others Prejudice: I hate stereotypes and actively fight the ones I even hold myself, but of course, everyone has prejudices, and I even read somewhere that they serve a good purpose.

I talk easily about:

1. Politics
2. Current events
3. Philosophy

I get embarrassed by:

1. Not being able to find words when I’m distressed
2. Having to admit that I’m not doing alright (when not in an angry/sad tantrum)
3. Discussions about things I know a lot about but have little experience with where the opposite is expected, like friendship

Past, Favorite Moments:

1. My 10th birthday party
2. International Computer Camp in 2002
3. Being accepted to two debating contests (2003 and 2005)

Past, Least Favorite Moments:

1. Being teased in elementary school
2. All of ninth grade in high school
3. The big parent conflic tlast April

Past, Psychological Scars: I tend to describe my life as a constant battle between people about my abilities and difficulties and what these imply, but of course it all depends on how I handle these situations how I feel about them, and, of course, I don’t handle them well.

Political Party: Socialist

Social Issues you are against:

1. Abortion
2. Euthanasia
3. “Preventive” war on terror

Social Issues you are for:

1. Public healthcare
2. Disability rights
3. Gay marriage

Hobbies:

1. Writing
2. Readign
3. Surfing the Internet

Interests:

1. Philosophy
2. Psychology
3. Disability issues

Comment: And a host of others, cause I have way too many interests and they tend to change depending on my mood.

Pets: Nope, but my family have a cat

Favorite Pet: My family’s cat, Morse

Favorite TV show: Don’t know

Favorite Band: Uhm, no idea

Favorite type of music: Folk

Favorite Song: Changes constantly

Favorite Colour: Black, blue, green, purple

Favorite Movie: Don’t know, never watch movies

Favorite Actor: Don’t even know any

Favorite Book: Currently The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Favorite Author: Hannah Green (aka Joanne Greenberg)

Favorite Sports: I only do fitness

Favorite Pastime: Writing

Do you drink: Nope

How often: Rarely

Favorite Alcohol: Don’t like any

Favorite Meal: Anything with rice

Favorite Restaurant: No idea

Diet (healthy, fatty, chocolate is a food group): Pretty healthy and varied, but I do tend to eat a lot of rice and pasta, coffee is a food group and I’m totally addicted to one particular type of candy

Clothing Style: Casual, but almost always black

Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual: Bisexual I think

Sexually Active: No

Love interest: Uhm, yeah, maybe

Favorite characteristics in love interest: What?

Least Favorite characteristics in love interest: N/A

Turn-Ons: What does that mean?

Turn-Offs: Don’t know

Best Friend: Got none

Close Friends: Have none either

Acquaintances: Uhm, the online folks?

Acquaintance you wish to be a friend: N/A

Where do you live (home, apartment): One-room apartment

With who: Alone but since I live in training home we share one apartment that is for general use. There are seven clients here.

City: Apeldoorn, Gelderland, Netherlands

Assessment of living style (can’t wait to move, love city, hate state): Currently think training home really isn’t the right place for me anymore but alternate between thinking I belong in a mental institution and thinking I should’ve moved out on my own. Don’t have a problem with my city except that it has no colleges.

Where would you like to live: Don’t know

Favorite saying: Whatever?

Favorite quote: “The biggest argument against democracy is a five-minute discussion with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill

My Philosophy of Life: I’m a philosophical Idealist who looks for “realism”. Pretty contradictory, isn’t it?

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Totally Unscientific Psychopathology Quiz Results

Because I once again don’t fancy schoolwork – and besides, I did quite a bit of it this morning already -, here are some results from tests my psych instructor and the info folk form psychodiagnostic work would cringe at cause they’re totally unscientific. But they are fun.

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom’s basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

The profile of an insecure, kind of confused girl with a negative self-image, but nothing pathological. In other words, quite exactly me.

You May Be a Bit Dependent…

You’re more than a little preoccupied with being abandoned. You need a lot of support in your life, at all times. It’s difficult for you to survive on your own… And you don’t reallly think you ever could.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Geez, DPD (dependent personality disorder) was on my list of disorders I had an obsession with briefly in 2003… not that I ever really believed I had it, but, when I began to realize that some of my attempts at being “independent”, were actually making me emotionally (and sometimes, physically) dependent, I was in the habit of psychopathologizing everything, so therefore.

You Are 64% Bipolar

You’re more than moody – you’re a bit unstable. If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help.

Are You Bipolar?

The thing is, the quiz doesn’t care whether you’ve been this way for a very long time or whether your elated or depressed moods are severe enough and when they happen (it doesn’t require all the symptoms to have occurred at the same time) – in order to be diagnosed cyclothymic you would have to have mood swings for at least two years, and in order to be diagnosed bipolar you would have to be in both a major depressive and a manic episode (and I think more than one), which essentially last two weeks in full force to be diagnosed as episodes. Furthermore, what is “elated” or “optimistic” for one person, is not so for the other, and what is “depressed” and “pessimistic” is not the same for everyone. For me, for example, “optimistic” or “elated” is how I felt on Saturday when talking with Marianne, and “pessimistic” is how I felt on Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning. And, while I was acting abnormally on Monday and Tuesday, I wasn’t at all on Saturday – the thing is, it was “optimistic” for me, cause I generally feel quite pessimistic. In short, while I feel I’m experiencing some degree of mood swings – never mind that it started only about five months ago -, there’s nothing abnormal about my “optimistic” moods – that are, for me, very unusual – and a hell of a lot wrong with my “pessimistic” moods.

Your Depression Level: 60%

You seem to have mild depression. A lot of people fall into your range, and it’s quite possible you don’t need treatment. If you’ve been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.

Are You Depressed?

In other words, the standard profile of a confused adolescent who has pretty poor coping skills and pretty screwed thinkign – duh.

You Are 24% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It’s likely that you’re not a sociopath… just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?

Mostly checked the vague statements like the one about having been in trouble as a kid, cause, sure, I was a troubled kid, but not in the way they most likely mean it. By the way, what in the world does a high IQ have to do with sociopaths?

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