The March Blog Carnival of Mental Health Is Up

The March Blog Carnival of Mental Health, on the theme of relationships, is up at Some Assembly Required. It’s a small edition – in fact, I’d expected there would be more submissions on this theme -, but a fine one.

The April carnival will be hosted by Nyx, and the theme will be self-care. Get your submissions in preferably by the 27th, and check back on the 30th for the carnival.

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Binge Eating Disorder to Be Fully Included in DSM-V

After having been in the appendix for research purposes only since 1994, binge eating disorder (BED) will likely move to full inclusion in DSM-V once it is published. Binge eating disorder involves repeated episodes of overeating which are characterized by both the eating of far more than would be normal in a certain time period, and a sense of having lost control over one’s food intake. Associated features are at least three of the following:

1. Eating much more rapidly than normal.


2. Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.


3. Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry.


4. Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating.


5. Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterwards.

The binge eating causes significant distress, occurs on average at least once a week for three months, and is not associated with repeated inappropriate compensatory behaviors, such as purging. The binge eating does not occur exclusively during the course of another specific eating disorder. The severity of binge eating disorder is determined by the frequency of episodes per week.

I like the recommendation that BED be fully included in DSM-V. I think its criteria are more strict than those commonly used for compulsive overeating in such organizations as Overeaters Anonymous. This is good, because, in order to be classified as a formal mental disorder, something needs to be defined more strictly than in order to be classified as something to simply warrant some kind of help. I also like the change to the frequency requirement from the DSM-IV appendix – it used to be twice a week for six months -, although this apparently is not a major change.

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New Blog on Living with DID

I have started a new personal blog, where I and all my parts can write about our life with dissociative identity disorder. It is called A Multitude of Musings, which is not too original a name, but better than any other I could think of. This blog is mostly public, but some entries will be password-protected due to privacy. If you know me online, you can send me an E-mail and request the password. I still have my boundaries and plan not to talk about the nature of my trauma, as on this blog, because I do not want to hurt the people involved. If anyone feels their privacy has been invaded anyway or they have another reason to feel offended, you can also E-mail me. Your experience being different from mine, does not count, since with this personal blog, I don’t deny that anyone else’s experience is real.

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Not Quite Weekly Linklove for 03/12/2011

Arwyn at Raising My Boychick: Thoughts on Radical Acceptance:

I find radical acceptance to be one of the hardest things to explain to anyone else, but also one of the most profound tools of my own wellbeing. It’s NOT about “looking on the bright side” or “staying positive” – it’s seeing exactly what is, even all the shit, and just… accepting the fact of its existence, and, yes, sometimes, seeing the beauty in the ugliness, and the teeny tiny sparks of light in the dark.

s.e. smith at this ain’t livin’: What Does Asexuality Mean to You?:

Of all the myriad expressions of human sexuality, asexuality is probably among the least understood, although many people think they know exactly what it means; the opposite of being sexual. A few persistent themes can be seen in the way people think about asexuality; asexuality means you don’t have sex, right? You also don’t have romantic relationships (you can’t have those without sex!). You’re probably frigid and that’s why you’re asexual; maybe you’re
afraid of sex or you’re refusing to face trauma. No healthy person rejects sexuality. You’re repressed. You’re not kinky or queer, that’s for sure.

Kimberly Greyson at Movies and Mental Health: “Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?” Battered Women in the Media:

The media offers scant opportunities for the average American to be well informed on the matter of what makes a battered woman kill her abuser. To the contrary, there are too many media opportunities for society to enjoy watching women being abused, tortured, and killed. Numerous music videos, video games, and all manner of pornography are carefully crafted to visually elicit male stimulation when viewing images of women fighting, submitting, or being
harmed.

Jane Collingwood at Psych Central: Higher Risk of Mental Health Problems for Homosexuals:

Homosexual people tend to experience more mental health problems than heterosexual people, research indicates. Discrimination may contribute to the higher risk, believes lead researcher Dr. Apu Chakraborty of University College London, UK.

Brittany P. at Butterfly Closures: Dealing with Recovering Memories:

For a few weeks now, after I experienced and wrote about
mother nightmares, I’ve felt myself slipping into old coping mechanisms. The nightmares, one in particular not mentioned, quickly stayed me on the path of dealing with memories of Mother-Daughter sexual abuse. I will say that although I’ve never experienced the process of recovering memories, it is a sensible process if you consider
what childhood abuse survivors are working with.

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Exploring Dissociation: When a New Alter Emerges

Generally, when a new alter emerges, I tend to first feel identity confusion. I may be confused as to whether I’m Astrid or I’m a part, and if I am a part, who it is. Sometimes, I lose time, but not always. I may also have emotions or thoughts that are clearly not typical for me.

Then, I start to feel that a new alter is present. I have only been aware of the creation of three of my alters, in 2001 and 2004, since most of my alters were around before I uncovered them. This is confusing, since it is hard to find out whether I’m creating new alters right then and there – which, for me, is possible with stress that is non-traumatic -, or whether I’m just discovering an alter that’s been there for maybe five or ten or fifteen years. Memory doesn’t tell me that, since my part that was created in 2004, holds memories from as early as 1989, for example.

When the alter begins communicating with me, I still cannot be sure whether she’s truly a new alter. I often wonder whether I’m imagining her being there or have created her on purpose. It often takes me several months to years to admit that a newly-emergent alter is real. For example, I didn’t accept Little, who says she was created in 1992 and emerged in 2006, till early 2010.

Parts sometimes communicate their names, but sometimes, they don’t, and I give them a name to be able to distinguish them. I have recently discovered a possible new alter, whom my boyfriend immediately called Agnes. I now realize that she may be a development from an imaginary friend I had as a child, but maybe she isn’t. I have some evidence that Agnes is real, from the fact that I found writings that may be by her from 2005 and 2006. I can tell this by comparing the writing style and attitude in the writings to a recent writing that I know to be from her.

Several nurses have aksed me how old Agnes is. Sometimes, when getting to know a new or newly-emergent alter, I know instinctively how old they are, but sometimes, I have to infer it from their behavior. Agnes, for example, talks like a young teenager, but she still scratches on paper vigorously. Unless or until she communicates it with me, I will not be sure how old she is. Since I have no memory of creating her – which I have of some alters who emerged as imaginary friends or story characters at first, even if I didn’t realize they were alters right then -, I cannot infer her age from that. So I will have to wait to get communication with her, or ask someone she talks to.

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Coming Out Multiple

The theme for the upcoming Carnival Against Child Abuse, which welcomes submissions about multiplicity generally, will be Spring. That theme immediately made me think about the spring of 2010. In late March last year, I started coming out about my dissociative symptoms. At first, I shared with my psychologist that I was having depersonalization episodes. I didn’t want to share my traumatic experiences yet, although she asked about that. Even though she took me really seriously, that – the fact that she asked about traumattic experiences – is one of the reasons I sometimes question the reality of my experiences. Did she not suggest I was traumatized before I realized it myself? I have evidence from my journal that I had bad memories before then, but still.

I pretended not to know what dissociation was, because I was in denial that this was what I was experiencing. The nurses initially didn’t connect my dissociative episodes to what history they knew about me, but thought I was overwhelmed. This is, indeed, a plausible explanation for some of my episodes, that come about with stress without there being memories.

About a month later, I wrote my primary nurse a letter explaining the trauma I endured. She already knew, since I’d confided in her previously, but I wanted her to check whether it was appropriate to share with my psychologist. The primary nurse said that it was, and I E-mailed my psychologist. The day after, I had a discussion with her. She reacted rather matter-of-fact, without laying blame on either me or the people who hurt me. I liked this, because it made me feel that what I experienced, was somehow “normal” – I don’t know how to word that, since I do not want to suggest that trauma is normal.

Yet another month went by, and on May 26, 2010, I came out as multiple. That is, I explained that there were things that happened that I didn’t feel happened to me. The psychologist asked whether I felt like I had multiple personalities, and I said I did to some extent. I also shared with her the experience in 2005, where the psychologist who’d heard about my alters, immediately threw the DSM at me. This, I did not want, and my psychologist again reassured me that, even though what I had was called dissociation, it was pretty common and okay. It would take another half year before she realized the full extent of my dissociation and diagnosed me with DID.

In retrospect, I’m very glad that I shared my dissociative episodes and the reality of my parts with my psychologist and primary nurse. Now, my alters can come out to the nurses and my psychologist when they feel the need to talk. This has helped greatly in our cooperation and my awareness of the different parts. For some reason, I also seem to experience fewer depersonalization episodes than I did last year. I do not know why this is, but am happy about it.

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The February Blog Carnival of Mental Health Is Up

The February Blog Carnival of Mental Health, with the theme of advocacy, is up at Ramblings of the Differently Sane. Go check out a fine list of entries. The March edition will be hosted by StaticNonsense. I haven’t yet received notice of the details, but will update this post as soon as I get them. By the way, I’m still looking for a volunteer host for the April carnival. Hosts will pick the theme, deadline and decide how to receveive submissions. If no-one jumps in to take April, I will have to host it myself.

ETA: The theme for the March carnival will be relationships. Please get your submissions posted in a comment at StaticNonsense’s blog or in an E-mail by March 28.

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