A few weeks ago, I spoke with my doctor because I wanted to know about the policy regarding me after March 7. After all, I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to go to the Deventer facility, but everyone told me to wait till I’d made the visit. I feared being kicked off the ward if I decided against going to that place. Well, now I know this didn’t happen, but at the time, of course, I didn’t know this yet. However, when I asked for clarification, my doctor’s first reaction was: “Isn’t it logical that you, being autistic, have a need for clarity?” In other words: “You ask for clarity regarding your policy, but you’re autistic and your autism causes you to have an increased need for clarity compared to normal people, so there’s really no need to clarify.”
Probably, my doctor didn’t intend to sound like she was consciously not taking into account my disability. I assume she hadn’t yet made up her mind about the possible scenarios after March 7, so hadn’t yet made a decision about her approach. This seems strange to me, since in my view, there would be only two options: either I’d go to Deventer – in which case I already had been informed about the follow-up process – or I wouldn’t go, but maybe I overlook some things. However, the way she spoke to me, it sounded quite a lot as if I ought to stop asking for clarification because non-autistics don’t have this need for clarity. So what? I’m not a neurotypical, am I? I’d have been fine with her telling me that she hadn’t yet made up her mind – even though I considered it quite strange -, or that there were so many scenarios that she wasn’t able to explain all of them to me, or whatever the reason behind the unclarity was. However, please don’t blame the disability, because that communicates that there is no need to make accommodations because the person wouldn’t need them if they weren’t disabled. Rather, explain why you cannot make an accommodation for a disabled person. I know that I’m blind and autistic, so there is no need to inform me that my need for accommodations is caused by that. Rather, inform me of the limits of your capacity or willingness to accommodate, so that I know what to expect and so that I can be reasonable in the accommodations I request.
