Third day with less risperdal and still not freaking out. Well, I got a little irritable after I’d got lost on the way to an activity in a community center this afternoon, but this is usual and it didn’t get out of hand. If anything, I feel better than when I was still taking my full dosage of risperdal.
Archive for September, 2007
Well, I’m not feeling well today at all. For a while now, I’ve had brief headache attacks just beside my left eye, spreading to my left ear. They tend to happen when I’m in the shower, for some strange reason. I may get mildly dizzy after such an attack. Well, since yesterday evening, I’ve had this mild headache almost constantly, and this afternoon, I was so dizzy that I fell. I went out anyway, thinking fresh air would do me well, but I bumped into a pole and got very dizzy. A woman brought me home. After this, I tried to reach Gerda to ask what I should do. After a while, I went to Marjolein, a girl I know. I didn’t feel better while I was there, and was not able to chat much. She gave me some water and brought me home – though I know the way, we were not sure I’d get home safely in this state. Eventually, Gerda called back. She thought I had something like the flu, and advised me to drink lots of water or tea – but I’m not sure I can make myself tea -, and lay in bed or watch tv for a while. I went to have dinner, watched tv, and then went online for a while. I got myself water and some fruit. I’m still having a headache, but don’t feel dizzy anymore.
As for the medication tapering, I didn’t freak out today, either. Do have constant worries – since I’m sick, this comes down to health worries -, but this is normal for week-ends. No increased appetite today.
Well, besides my really poor sleeping last night and feeling a little unquiet in the evening, I did not experience any symptoms of my irritability. In fact, today was the first day I didn’t freak out at university. So it seems decreasing my risperdal dosage is not affecting me adversely so far. The only weird thing I noticed was an extreme appetite, which is weird since that would be a risperdal side effect – but I do remember that my appetite seemed to have decreased after going on risperdal, for some strange reason.
Slept really badly last night. This is not necessarily medication-related, though it might be. Risperdal was meant to help me sleep, but it never really did and I didn’t notice an increase in insomnia the last time I lowered my dosage. Furthermore, I slept really poorly the night before Monday, too, so it may be school-related.
Worried about school a lot last night. I’m now only taking two classes instead of five, because taking the full load was overwhelming me. However, one of these classes, phonetics, is next to impossible to follow, because I don’t have the book yet, we can’t get the professor’s notes, and I can’t get the phonetic alphabet to work with my computer. I tried to E-mail my instructor, but he doesn’t respond.
School is really not what I’d expected it to be. My other class, language and communication, is very boring. It’s all language analysis, basically. Phonetics is a cool class, but next to impossible to follow. Further, everything outsdide of class is really hard. I freak out after class almost universally, because I can’t orient in the big building and I don’t know my classmates yet. Hell, was it ever easier when I still went to Saxion. Saxion was hard, but not as hard as Radboud is.
Called the doctor’s assistant this morning to inform her that I wanted to get off risperdal. I’m not sure if I was clear about this yesterday, since I had difficulty processing what was being said during the doctor’s visit and, as I processed what had been said, Marion and the doctor proceeded to discuss the nosebleeds. The assistant said she’d speak with the doctor, and call me back late in the afternoon. As she called back, she said that to come off risperdal, I’d need to go back to 0.5mg once daily first, and continue on this dosage for a week to see how it goes. She advised me to call back next week to discuss how things had been going. So this means I’ll skip my evening dosage tonight. Will keep a detailed diary, similar to the one I kept when going on risperdal, to monitor possible withdrawal effects.
Was just wanting to do some memes. These ones are about pets, since I’m wishing I had a pet here, and I spent a while this evening cuddling with another girl’s guinea pig. But guinea pigs ar enot for me…
You Would Be a Pet Cat
Independent and aloof, you don’t like to be dependent on anyone.
And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don’t care.
You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands.
Why you would make a great pet: You’re not needy or greedy… unlike other four legged friends.
Why you would make a bad pet: You’re not exactly running down to greet people at the door
What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom
What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans
Your Ideal Pet is a Cat
You’re both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!
Man, I wish I’d never allowed my old shrink to prescribe me risperdal. I’ve been taking it for two months now, of which it’s been effective for only the first two or three weeks, yet my current GP (don’t have a shrink cause everyone thought this’d be over quite soon) doesn’t want me to lower my dosage, because once I noticed negatively that lowering my dosage would worsen my irritability. Well, I only tried the lowered dosage for five days, so how can I be sure? Now she tells me to continue taking the med till at least early November, because, as she says it, there is too much going on now and the meds will only aid slightly. Well, isn’t that an indication that I shouldn’t be taking this med? I’m so pissed off. I know the potential dangers of neuroleptics. I know this isn’t candy. And when it doesn’t work, why continue? I wish I’d not been so stupid to let a doctor prescribe me an anti-psychotic. Wish I’d listened to my fellow autistics, who tell me to seek another doctor immediately once one prescribes a neuroleptic. Now it’s too late and I’m stuck with risperdal for at least another six weeks – and more, since you can’t stop risperdal at once.
Further saw the doctor for nosebleeds – yes, again, cause I’ve been seeing my old GP twice for them. My doctor prescribed me a nose ointmnet. I’ve had one before, but this one is different. She does seem to think the blood vessels in my nose are very thin – while my old GP thought it was an infection of the nasal mucus. Well, we’ll see if this works.
Today, I cooked Siamese chicken curry. I rarely cook, because cooking is not my most well-developed skill and I can’t deal with something unexpected happening when there’s no-one around or that I can reach. I used to cook completely independently when still living in the independent living training home, but there was always someone available in the house next door. I am not (yet) comfortable cooking with no-one around should something unexpected happen. So today Adrie, one of my support workers, came around and she had time to hang around while I cooked. Well, she cleaned my house in the meantime – another skill that suffers in my current living situation, but this mostly because I haven’t yet figured out how to clean this house, and everything seems to be different because my house’s lay-out differs from the one I used to live in. There are some things that I can still do cleaning-wise, but not many. Consequently, Adrie does some cleaning for me, while I’m waiting to get a professional housekeeper – or really, waiting for the funding to get one.