Astrid’s Journal

Harold Doherty of Facing Autism in New Brunswick posted this article to his blog to prove the harsh realities of autism and living wiht an autistic child. I would not disagree that this child’s behavior is extremely distressing to the parents. I sympathize with this mother’s longing for more support. I can understand that she feels burdened, caring for this child on her own. However, that does not change anything about this boy’s human and civil rights.

I hate some of my own behavior. I hate it when I feel so frustrated and overwhelmed and confused that I throw objects or scream at people. I would love to overcome it. It was in fact what got us to go to the mental health place, and, even when I didn’t take the initiative, I still agreed with it. In fact, I even agreed to some vague idea that I don’t even understand beyond its having a waiting list that’s allegedly not too long. Go figure: I’m not saying I don’t have problems. Much less would I be saying that of anyone else, regardless of diagnosis or severity of behaviors.

I wouldn’t say it shouldn’t be figured out what causes this child to get aggressive and, if possible, to address that cause. For example, if he gets violent when trying to communicate something, his communication abilities should be improved, for example by having him evaluated for alternative augmentative communication or to get him speech therapy. I don’t think anyone, whether they’re autistic or not and whether they consider themselves self-advocates or not, would disagree. In fact, I feel offended by implications that people who advocate for autistic civil rights, don’t think this child has problems. I myself struggle with milder behavior difficulties and don’t have labels, but still consider the problems significant. Simple behavior modificaiton (as in, just punishing me) may not work, but maybe some other strategy will. I wouldn’t have gone to the freaking mental health ccentre if I thought people should just accept my aggression, so don’t pretend that that’s what I say.

What I do say, is that I don’t want to be turned into something I’m not, and I don’t wish that upon anyone, including this child. The aim of support or treatment for this child, or me, or anyone, should not be to “normalize” them. When in the February 21 discussion with the mental health folk, for example, she was asking my father if I could talk on and on about one subject. He said I do that, but it doesn’t bother him. Even if it did bother him, it doesn’t bother me and it doesn’t put people in danger, so there’s no need for me to get over it, much like I don’t need to overcome my high IQ by learning to act dumb. Likewise, a child who spins round objects, doesn’t need to have that behavior extinguished, I think. He might be communicated that others find it inappropriate, if he has the level of understanding to comprehend that, but it’s not something that puts the child or other people in danger. That’s how I mean not forcing someone to become something they are not. It’s perfectly fine to help a child overcome dangerous behavior (if done in an ethical manner), but that doesn’t take away that child’s right to be himself. And yes, this kid *is* autistic, and there’s no point in scratching that off like a mask, cause there is no normal child underneath the autism.