According to Arda, we’ve been really productive tonight, cause we’ve written my re-indication request (the thing to ask for me to stay here for another year), crafted my “care plan” (I don’t need to be cared for, but that’s what it’s called), and have been looking for courses. We found a few interesting courses at the community college in Apeldoorn and Deventer and a great part-time college foundation (freshman year) in applied psychology at Saxion (college) in Deventer, but I thought one couldn’t arrange this. Arda, impulsively, thought we could and sent an E-mail to the college. I’m sure I will be truly embarrassed on Monday when I get to hear you really can’t do this, in three weeks: a college education when you’re blind. Arda came up with her son who’d decided just now what city he was going to do his studies in and with another former client here who went to university, but this is a combination of both. I can go to university eventually, but not with three weeks preparation time, and I might be able to arrange for community college courses in three weeks, but not for college. Arda and I agree that this would be a good education: interesting (at least for me), at my level and with enough time spent studying to learn to combine housekeeping and studying. But I really have the feeling that this can’t be arranged and that such a director of studies or whatever will truly be frightened. Of course it would be great if it could be arranged, but I really don’t think so and I feel I ought to be ashamed: who do I think I am, believing I can arrange for college without taking into account my disability? Last year, it was one reason to delay college, but Arda says it’s different now cause I’m living at training home and she also said something about it being part-time. I don’t know what that has to do with it. Hmmm, I just think Arda is weird and she appears to find it funny. I don’t.
An even bigger stupidity of mine is, that I’ve known about these studies for about six weeks already, but didn’t do anything with it cause, firstly, I thought one couldn’t arrange this, and, secondly, I thought everyone would find it strange that I was interested in this. My parents hate it, at least. Arda thinks I shouldn’t be studying for them, but for myself. Sure.