Oh man, I don’t like 2005 one bit!! Can’t we skip it? So that it’s going to be 2006. There’s so much insecurity and uncertainty coming up this year. Graduation, what to do next year, how to deal with all those damned issues… I hate 2005… I’m so damn nervous and anxious… Please, let it [...]
Archive for December, 2004
Goodbye, 2004!
Posted in Personal on December 31, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
The Year in Review
Posted in Memories on December 31, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
I entered 2004 with recent vision loss for which I had no explanation, a revived system of “ladies” and a suspection of Asperger’s Syndrome that had become virtually an obsession. December, 2003 had been difficult, and that didn’t change upon the turn of the year. Like almost every January, this year’s first month was grey [...]
How to Deal with My Feelings of Resentment?
Posted in Behavioral Difficulties, Blindness, Personal on December 29, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
How do I deal with my feelings of anger and resentment? I cannot remain resentful. It would, besides that it doesn’t get me anywhere, be unfair to my parents and other folks. My parents never intended to hurt me in any way. They dearly wanted the best for me, and they saw me as normal [...]
Reach for the Stars, Kid!
Posted in Personal on December 28, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
She feels angry, hurt
By people
Who didn’t intend to hurt her
They wanted the best
For her
To become a good grown-up
They wanted her to reach
For the stars
Or however the saying goes
They made decisions
About her
And what they wanted her to do
She didn’t reach
The goals
Whcih they had set for her
Now she feels let down
But it
Is her responsibility
Memories from 1994/1995
Posted in Memories on December 27, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
The age of eight has always had an incomprehensible significance to me. When I was eleven, I had an eight-year-old girl in my mind to represent my behaviour difficulties. She was a lot less “formed” than Milou is now, but the concept was similar. When I was thirteen, I wrote a – largely incorrect – [...]
Christmas Ramblings
Posted in Personal on December 25, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
Okay, it’s Christmas. We don’t do much for Christmas. We used to have a Christmas tree, but we don’t anymore, since our cat might climb in it. We did have a sort of Christmas meal, but it was just the normal argument over whether the lights should be on or out, where the candles should [...]
Feeling Enclosed, Loneliness and Perseverance
Posted in Behavioral Difficulties, Blindness, Multiplicity, Personal on December 17, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
When I was in seventh and eighth and sometimes in ninth grade, I used to make drawings of little people in cages. They symbolized two things for me: firstly, they were a symbol of my loneliness and isolation and lack of contact with classmates and other “casual” acquaintances. I had a memory yesterday of one [...]
Thinking about Sibling Relations
Posted in Family, Personal on December 15, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
I have been thinking about being the eldest child lately, and especially being an older sister. Friday had little to do with it. But in general, I’ve often felt more like Sigrid’s younger sister than her older one. I was pretty young already when Mum first told me that I should use her as a [...]
Thoughts on My Sister and Behaviour Stuff
Posted in Behavioral Difficulties, Family, Personal on December 14, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
Last Friday, I had a fight of some sort with Sigrid. That is, at first we had a “normal” argument. It was about the new harddrive for my computer that would’ve arrived on Thursday, had it not been that I didn’t hear the doorbell ringing when the folks came to bring it. “You’re just deaf. [...]
The “Ladies” on Next Year
Posted in College / University, Multiplicity, Personal on December 12, 2004 | Leave a Comment »
So, I’m going to quit my tryign to sound “normal” and going to tell the “ladies”‘ points of view on next year, cause that’s how it’s going on in my mind.
Clarissa: She was initially the one who planned for the college prep programme at the rehab centre. She never had the illusion that “we” would [...]
