Everyone’s different, or: we’re all equal. They’re two opposite statements that indicate the same – we should accept each other the way they are, regardless of sexuality, pattern of abilities or disabilities, ethnic background etc. I’ve read such statements many times, because I’m a blind, intellectually gifted and lesbian/bisexual girl. And I’ve had problems with all my differences. The issue of my sexuality mainly took place in 2001.
I discovered I could fall in love with girls in May of 2000, when I was almost 14-years-old. At the moment, I identify as “bisexual – homosex leaning”, but at the moment I came out I’d only been in love with girls.
The first person I came out to, in May of 2001 – by the way that was the time in which homosexuality was in the news a lot because same-sex marriage was just allowed and radical imams were encouraging homo-hate -, was my younger sister Sigrid. At first, she reacted very bad saying I couldn’t yet know my sexuality. However, when I talked to her about it again a few months later, she said she’d accept my homosexuality.
It was at a class party in July that I came out to some of my classmates. I’d been showing off about the “boy” I loved the whole day and everyone wanted to know “his” name. When we were preparing to get to sleep (it was a sleepover party) one of my classmates told me and some others that she might be a lesbian. We all reacted good, but it felt very weird to me… Here was someone who was “like me” in this way… I’d never known any other lesbian/bisexual girls before… Then I told four girls that the “boy” I had a crush on actually was a girl. I was so happy that they reacted good, cause it was before I knew my sis accepted my sexuality, so I only had bad coming out experiences.
During the 2001 summer holiday I struggled a lot with all of my differences: I already had a disability, so how could I be a lesbian as well??? Wasn’t I faking it??? How would my parents react if I came out to them??? I was reading the book “When love comes to town” by Tom Lennon, which is about a gay boy, and I was so anxious that I hid the book away from my parents. My anxiety was so bad that one day I packed my bags and put them on a shelf in my wardrobe, so that I could run away if my parents reacted bad.
On September 1, 2001 I woke up with a feeling of being able of great things: today I’d tell my Mum about my sexuality. I still didn’t want my Dad to know of it, because in my imagination he’d react as if homosexuality was one of the worst crimes one could commit… Today I don’t know what I got that idea from. So that evening when my Dad was going to the supermarket I went to my Mum and told her that I believed I was a lesbian. She said she’d suspected it already and asked if she should tell my Dad. Because she was sure he’d react good, I agreed. I later talked to my Dad about it and indeed he fully accepts it. Now I don’t broadcast, but when the topic comes up, I’m open about my sexuality.
