Joe Kraynak of Bipolar Beat asks: Have you ever lied to your doctor? The answer, however, is not as simple as it may seem.
Joe Kraynak assumes that some people in a depressive episode might not tell their doctor that they were at one point manic, in order to avoid the bipolar diagnosis. This may be a reason for misdiagnosis and inappropriate antidepressant treatment. However, what he fails to acknowledge is the possibility that some people don’t intend to lie about their former state at all. I was myself never diagnosed with any mood disorder, but have been in a number of situations in which I might be accused of “lying” about my mental state without intending to.
One of them occurred during my crisis in 2007. During that time, I have repeatedly asserted that I’d really never felt less overloaded than I was at that time. The reason for this “lie” is that, when I am in an extremely overwhelmed state, I cannot imagine ever having been in any other state, or will distort this idea in my mind to something more black-and-white. Because at that time the possibility that I was depressed was repeatedly considered – incorrectly so -, it may well be thought that I lied in order to influence the diagnostic process. I didn’t.
Another thing, also related to a non-existent depressive state of mine, is the incorrect pathologization of distressing but understandable states. My most recent “depression exam” occurred in December of 2008, after I had been in a terrible meltdown, including black-and-white assertions about my mental state. In a sense, I think I should’ve gotten a Noble prize for survivorship for *not* having been depressed, after a year on the locked ward, with little perspective on moving on. However, the staff did not recognize this, and sent the doctor to me to ask me the standard depression-screening questions (I am pretty sure the whole thing wasn’t really meant seriously by that particular nurse). I answered them, truthfully so to the best of my understanding – another complicating factor is that I find it hard to deal with open-ended medical questions -, and did explicitly mention having other negative thoughts besides the ones directly concerning my living situation. Of course, just because thoughts are not *about* the patient’s known stressors, doesn’t mean their occurrence is not influenced by these stressors: I at the time obsessed over the possibility of dying before the end of 2008, and by December felt bad that it was unlikely to occur, but of course these thoughts might not have been so dominant if I’d been in a living situation where I found life worth living, or knew that I would be going into one relatively soon. The bottom line was that the doctor said he wasn’t sure what to think – I had some symptoms, bugt wasn’t clearly depressed – and this whole event was never talked about again. It is possible that, again, the doctor believes I wanted him to think I was depressed. I didn’t: I knew I wasn’t in a depressive episode, but distressed I surely was, and significantly so. Who wouldn’t be, in my situation? I didn’t even find it necessary to speak to the doctor, but now that the nurses did find it necessary, I answered his questions, within his frame of reference, which is, of course, the DSM-IV. Of course the truth is that a medical doctor was not the right person to consult on my issues at all, but he happened to be the only one available. Besides, if I had asked this doctor, who had only worked at our ward for two weeks, where I should go with this problem, knowing that it didn’t fall within his expertise, he likely would’ve had no clue.